*Edited for content & confidentiality by the My Heart Matters Team
  Real Names not used unless indicated

The Love Triangle: What is it, Why do Some Accept it and What Should You Do About it?

I’m involved in a love triangle. In my eyes, it is when you’re confused with who you’re in love with. I have a boyfriend who is madly in love with me but I’m not too hot up for him. ~ Nisha

When you really love someone it is a really powerful tool. I was in love with a man before and he broke my heart. He brought me by his house with his baby’s mother and told me they were getting back together. I was hurt and my whole life changed. I started dating more than one man and I want to tell men - please if you don’t like a girl don’t break her heart. It causes many bad things to happen. ~ Charity

I’ve been married for two and a half years. Three months after getting married my wife started an affair with her coworker. I forgave her last year. She put me out of our home to be with this young man. She said that I did not make her happy but I thank GOD for who HE is in my life because I had 6 opportunities to either kill or hurt both of them. But to GOD be the glory. ~ William

A love triangle is when two or more persons are mixed up and they don’t know what they want. It’s like they need more than one person in their life. It can cause people to get hurt or even result in death. ~ Danny

I have a guy who I’m close to and so much in love with but I also have a boyfriend who has my name on his chest. I like him but don’t love him. I’m stuck with him because I thought it was love but it was just lust. ~ Daphne

A love triangle is a relationship between one girl and two guys or vice versa. Some people try their hardest not to get into them but once they get in it’s hard to get out of. If you’re the third wheel, you tend to fall for the Sweet Lies like Beres Hammond says. ~ Sam

Six years ago I was in a love triangle. I thought he was just cheating on me but when I think back about it – it was a triangle. I remember this guy saying he was in love with both of us but was that was a lie. You don’t hurt the people you love. Anyway I broke up with him, not because I did not care but because I did not want him to have to choose. I made the decision for him. Even though he has hurt me I could never do that to someone else. I remember speaking to him and him telling me that I was nice and should be happy. If I could meet him one last time I would tell him I forgive him because I know it hurts him to see how he has become the person he hates. ~ Jennifer

Related Articles:

Love Triangle – Now What?
How to Cope in a Love Triangle (Help for the “Other” Man/Woman)

Should You Stay in an Unhappy Marriage for the Sake of the Children?

I do not agree for a husband and wife to stay together for the sake of the children. I came from a broken home where as a child I’ve seen my parents struggle to keep the family together for the sake of me and my brothers and sister. I’ve seen us the children cry for our parents to stay together. However, I’ve also seen the problems escalate to physical harm and almost resulted in the death of one of my parents. I see the scars that we the children continue to carry with us daily despite the counseling. I wish they had separated when I was 8. They divorced when I was 16 but the scars were already there. It filters from you to the child negatively and the cycle sometimes continues to and through your marriage. This is not the case in every home but this was the case for my family. ~ Indi

I feel that it all depends on why you feel it will work out. If you’re being abused or not being treated fairly or if the sex life is gone, some things just won’t ever change. ~ Carmelo

I don’t think women should stay in an unhappy marriage because as a child my mother was abused by her father in the front of my face. I am now 28 and it’s hard to commit to any man ~ Charlene

I live with my baby daddy and we talk about marriage but I’m afraid because my dad use to beat my mom and I don’t want him to do the same thing to me. ~ Kari

Am not married but I hope to get married soon. I don’t agree with staying in a marriage for the sake of the child because children today are very wise and adapt to things faster than we think. It wouldn’t be healthy at all because while we may think we are doing the right thing to make the children happy, we may very well be tearing them apart. ~ Dario

I’m only 18 years old. Still in school and my mom has been in an abusive relationship since I was 5. She now wants me to know my real father. In 2010, I want her to leave the relationship. I hope that parents know that staying in a bad relationship hurts the child. At times I don’t feel safe at home, only in school that’s why I’m on the honour roll despite all that’s going on in my life. ~ Anisha

Related Articles:     How to Change Your Mate in a Relationship

How to Bring Out the Best in Your Relationship

Trying to Change Your Partner – Good or Bad Idea?

Book Excerpts:
Change Your Heart Change Your Marriage by Dr. Gary Smalley

Change Your Mind, Change Your Life by Gerald Jampolsky & Diane V. Cirincione
Watch Barry White – Just the Way You Are

Watch Barry White – Just the Way You Are

Woo or Walk Away: Would You Pursue Someone who is Already in a Relationship?

Don’t ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
~ Denton

I was in a relationship with a guy for four years but I guess I could say something better came along or what I thought was better so I walked away from my four-year relationship.
~ Cynthia

The man I’m with now is wonderful but my heart is with my ex. What should I do?
~ Shanna

Before you get involved with someone who’s already involved you should think about yourself because if it doesn’t work, you will hurt yourself.
~ Sunshine

I was involved with a guy who was married. I did my investigation and felt we had no need for each other. He had the life I wanted. I walked away and tried to find my own. Now I am involved and I’m trying to see if this guy is for me.
~ Sasha

Love can sometimes be a two edged sword. Which side of the blade is your love?
~ Rodger

Would You Love the person who loves you or the person you love?

Love is true and pure. Don’t kick the person who loves you out of the door.
~ Ryan

No one can control love. Love those who love you but our heart nevertheless always feels for someone else. My advice to those who hurt people is that every rope has its end and every well at some point will go dry.
~ Selena

I would love the person who loves me because if I don’t I’ll have to go out there and look for love. I shouldn’t have to look for love if I’ve got a mate who loves me!
~ Vernon

I think you should love the one who loves you because in the long run you won’t have anything to lose only to gain.
~ Tyler

All we need to do is think wisely.
~ Janet

I know that he loves me but he tells me that he doesn’t know what to do because I’m his heart. But I’d like to know how could someone be your heart and you’re not always there to show comfort and love?  I would truly say that I would love the one that loves me because I’m in a relationship now and he tells me that he is in love with the both of us. I feel so hopeless, lost, confused, and hurt. I don’t know what to do and how to do it. I’m so close to doing something stupid but all I can do is just pray and ask GOD for guidance and to help me get away from this mix up because GOD knows I’m truly in love with him. In fact, he’s my first love.
~ Jessica

It’s hard to move on but I would look for the person who loves me for me and who wants to achieve the same things I want
~ Kathleen

I think being rejected is very hard for people who are really in love. My ex girlfriend and I were going for 3 years and all of a sudden she…
~ George

I say I would love the person who loves me only if there’s a connection with us both.  I could always learn to love that person as long as I’m attracted to that person.
~ Linda

I think if you love someone you should settle down with that person and get to love him or her. I’m saying this because I was once in a relationship not too long ago with this young lady that I really liked and there was this other young lady that I didn’t know and she came and told me that she really loved me so I gave her a chance and now we can’t be together for  a while.
~ Mitch

Are Fathers as Important as Some People say They are?

My dad wasn’t there all my life. I met him in 1991 after graduation but in my eyes he was the world’s greatest. Sorry to say he died 4 years ago. I got to love him and now I miss him. In a way, I look up to the man in my life  as my dad. He’s 21 years older than me. So it’s good to have a father. Anybody could be a dad but not a father. May your soul rest in peace my father V.P.
~ Laquesa

I’m a 25 year old father. I have two kids now and the oldest one 8yeaers. His mother and I separated from he was born. My son’s mom tried to keep him away from me. I still try my best to be there for him. Now that he’s 8 she can’t control him. He doesn’t listen to her. Now she’s calling on me to deal with him after she’s spoiled him.
~Justin

I hear a lot of callers talking about how fathers and mothers are separated and the father doesn’t visit and stuff and so the mother takes charge. But my mother and father were married. But I still don’t know my father. Yes, we all lived together but it feels to me as if he still wasn’t there. It’s like I only saw him when he came home from work or when he left again to go out at night. He took care of us  money wise but that’s not enough.
~ Arabia

My mom and dad left me on the sidewalk and I was at war with other people trying to find my mom and dad. I was sad.
~ Daniel

What happens when your mother allows you to see your dad but he doesn’t meet you half way?
~ Janasa

I don’t feel a father in the family is a necessity because sometimes the fathers are the ones who molest and bad mouth their children and simply don’t show love.
~ Charity

Not having your father around is much harder than people think. My dad got married and completely forsake me. Now I’m 23 and would give anything to have my dad back.
~ Tommy

When Father Hurts Mother

www.fatherhoodinstitute.org – Powerful Resource & Advocate for Fathers
Embracing Your Father: How to Build the Relationship You’ve Always… by Linda Nielsen
The Involved Father: The Family-Tested Solutions for Getting Dads to... by Robert Frank

Would you object to your Son or Daughter marrying someone from the Haitian Community?

I’m a Bahamian woman dating a Haitian-Bahamian man and when we go in public I see people staring and turning up their noses at us! I just want to say to those people that GOD made all men equal and in HIS sight we are all beautiful! Don’t judge the book by its cover. Get to know someone before pointing fingers.
~ Adali

Love doesn’t see color or race or nationality. Love is from GOD.
~ Summer 

Whoever makes you happy.  As long as you both are heading in the same direction with the same goal.  I say just be happy, anyone can break your heart.  
~ Kaeden

I don’t think it will ever matter if my son or daughter gets involved with a Haitian national because we are all humans. They have feelings just like we do. Their blood is red just like our own.
~ Talbot

Whenever you object to someone or anything it just draws them closer to whatever you object too.
~ Georgette

I think you need to turn it around. Ask them if they try to stop their children…most of them don’t want them to marry Bahamians!
~ Christopher

I see no problem with my child marrying a person of another nationality because if my child knows that he is in love, I can’t stop him because it’s his decision. If he could grow to love this person with all his heart then I can also do the same.
~ Nadine

People say I’ve changed since I met my Jamaican boyfriend but he’s like none I’ve ever met. We are getting married in 2 years but I don’t think I can tell my mom because she’s doesn’t approve of foreigners. What should I do?     
~ Leticia 

Related Articles:    

Color Blind Love
Watch Celine Dion: The Colour of my Love (Live)    

Haiti: The Story Told       

Love, Power & Politics

It’s sad but it’s happening. I’m a registered voter and my husband doesn’t speak to me because I’m not supporting the party he is in.  He even refuses to help me with things.
~ Shawn   

It’s only an election. We should not let this act of free speech divide us because if it does then who are we as a nation?
~ Pat 

I’m an FNM and my wife is PLP. Ever since the PLP lost my wife doesn’t even sleep with me. She moved into the kids room.
~ Jaward 
 
My friend and I are both in our late teens and in college. Despite the fact that I am an FNM and he is a PLP we still get along. I believe that the younger people are acting more mature when it comes to accepting the fact that the FNM won. Adults are arguing and putting their children out and not speaking to each other. Younger people are setting the example because we realize in the end we have to live with each other.
~ Crystal 

Everyone can’t be PLP or FNM. We are all one family so let’s wake up and move on
~ Kenny 

My boyfriend hasn’t called since the PLP lost
~ Stacia 

All out of Love: Why do some couples fall out of love?

One is entitled to whatever emotions they posses. However, if one feels that their affections are diminishing or have been dissolved for the other person the decent and humane thing to do is to be open, honest and sensitive. There is an adage, that says, “I would rather you hurt me with the truth than deceive me with a lie” and I think this ideology holds true for many people.
~ Dandria

Sometimes we hold on when we should let go.
~ Monesha   

Relationships fall apart because the couple stops doing what they did at the beginning.  After a while they begin to take each other for granted. 
~ Davin 

Couples fall out of love simply because they’re not meant to be.
~ Karissa 

I don’t think couples grow out of love. They compromise too much to stay then enough is enough and then that’s it.
~ Elliote   

I’m married and I can’t speak for everyone else. I’ve been married for almost a year and I’m falling out of love with my wife because I went into marriage without resolving a trust issue. Now I find myself always thinking the worst of her and its taking a toll on our young marriage.
~ Andre’ 

People often confuse love with infatuation. What they thought was love was not really love. You would know when the love is real because you would want to be with your mate no matter what you go through. Some people come into our lives for a season. Some people get the two mixed up which is why they say they’ve fallen out of love.
~ Alexandria 

Love past was not love in the first place.
~ Carlton 

*Edited for content & confidentiality by the My Heart Matters Team
Real Names not used unless indicated

Should a Divorced Person Stay Single, Go Back to their Ex or Continue Looking for Love?

I was married once but it didn’t last. Why? It didn’t because my partner felt it was time for him to move on. I did everything I could to hold my marriage together but it didn’t work. I feel as if it’s better to move on with life, find love and to remarry. I’ll also suggest others to stay single and be very independent because sometimes there’s nothing you can do to please your companion.
~ Jasmine

The Bible says whosoever puts away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another, commits adultery and whoever marries her which is put away commits adultery
~ Jordan

What about marrying a divorced man? Besides most marriages are not in the eyes of God to begin with.
~ Tennille

Jesus himself said that if the divorce was because of infidelity it’s not adultery.
~ Antonio

I divorced my husband because of the many sweethearts. He was abusive so I got out. He remarried in the USA before we divorced. I will remarry.
~ Phyllis

I don’t have any feeling sexually for my husband at all. I’ve been with him for 18 years. Is this ground for divorce?
~ Vanessa

I don’t think you should get divorced from your husband or wife. You should get back together.
~ Owen

My wife left me for another woman and she has 5 kids. We were married for 7 years. What do you do…still love her and the kids? The pain is too great. I’m filing for divorce.
~ Tony

I divorced and now remarried and now seriously regretting my actions. If I knew then what I now know I would have made it work! All men are the same.
~ Cynthia

The meaning of Love is unselfishness. This is when a person who says they love someone actually put their partner’s feelings before theirs like God gave his Son Christ for the world.
~ Danielle

How we handle them makes a difference. I would gladly go back to my Ex
~ Shawn

They should continue to look for love.
~ Beverly

When you get married, you say whom God has put together let no one put asunder. How many times will God join that person?
~ Todd

Stay single because the Bible says so. As for Love, you will get it from CHRIST because he won’t let us do something if there’s no way out.
~ Vivian

While no sin is greater than others, some sins you can’t just move on from. Like if you do a crime you have to do the time and move on with a criminal record. You have to take the punishment that comes with it. Marriages are not a rush in and walk out thing. You have to pay by living single.
~ Moses

I do think that it is humane for a man or a woman to remarry after divorces having tried in the first marriage. We are not perfect therefore we as our neighbor’s keeper should not condemn but try to help and shine light on that person’s situation. You never know if the tables will turn on you.
~ Sheryl

Please let your listeners know that love is blind and marriage is an eye opener.
~ Dwayne

Sometimes the one you thought was the one wasn’t so you move on
~ Michele

I don’t see anything wrong with remarrying because I am in a marriage and my husband is never home. We don’t have sex, we don’t communicate and I am being neglected what am I to do?
~ Trisha

Related Articles:

Marriage & Divorce: What does the Bible Say?

Grounds for Divorce in The Bahamas
Bahamian Law

Protect Your Marriage from Divorce!
 Great Story…Great Read!

Succeeding at Second Marriages

It’s better to tell the truth but sometimes you have to lie. A relative of mine told the truth to her husband.  He suspected she had an affair and asked her about it. Being God fearing she admitted to the affair especially since he had confessed to an affair and they were trying to make up. But he told her he can’t deal with the fact that she was with another man during their separation. They broke up for good and he never forgave her.
~ Alicia

At some pint in everyone’s life we are bound to tell a lie. Some people can’t or don’t want to hear the truth. I’m not saying its right but we do get into situations.
~ Raquel

Why waste time telling a lie when the truth is more credible. Sometime the truth hurts but it’s actually nice to have someone who is frank. Relationships are based upon trust and honesty. It’s admirable for your mate to confront you about any situation.
~ Brendon

If you can’t be frank with your mate… what’s the point in lying?
~ Greg

Some women rather hear a lie so they can be in a comfort zone.  I know because my sweetheart, his girlfriend and I are going through this. He is denying being with me to save his engagement.
~ Karin

My boyfriend works on the mail boat. He sleeps out and tells lies by saying he slept on the boat.
~ Dalia
Let’s say two people are in a relationship. The woman cheats on her man and becomes pregnant for the person that she cheated with and she tells her man the child is his. There’s a song called “White Lies.” (Tanya Stevens)
~ Brandi

The truth always set your free but sometimes it’s better to lie. For me it’s better to tell me the truth and let me decide how to deal with it. Don’t let me find out you lied because it changes everything.  There can never be trust again.
~ Indi

Lies tend to snowball because you cover small ones by telling bigger lies. When you lie everything from that point in your life is a lie.
~ Dexter

The only way you will get the truth out of us Bahamian girls is to bring The Morrey Show and hear “You’re not the father” or the lie detector says, “That’s a lie.”
~ Liz

A lie is when you tell an untruth to someone who has the right to know the truth. One day I saw my ex and we were alone but nothing happened. The topic of sex did not even come up. When my new lover asked if I saw that person, I said no. 
~ Kelis

A lot of people will say that telling the truth is the right thing but we know it’s not that easy. They ask for truth but when they get it they really can’t handle it. How I see it, what Joe doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
~ Terry

Nassau only twenty one by seven, lying to spare someone’s feelings is dangerous because people act off emotions and that’s honestly how people dig their own graves.
~ Wayde

I think it’s best to tell the truth because when you tell a lie the truth eventually comes out and it’s going to hurt more than the lie you told.
~ Theresa

No it isn’t ok to tell a lie. A lie might end up causing someone to get hurt especially sex wise in a relationship. There are too many diseases out there.
~ Theo

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The Lies that Blind

The Truth about Deception
Quite an Interesting Website!

Should a Couple Live Together before Deciding on Marriage?

I love my husband with all my heart but what I learnt about him after marriage, had I known prior to marriage, it would have been a no no.  But I disagree with living together before marriage.  I left my husband twice because I was not used to certain things he did but because both of us loved one another so much, we had to learn to live together.  Had I lived with him before marriage, I would not have gotten to know and to appreciate him for who he is because I would had left and never look back.
~ Reneisha

I'm 28 and I can’t seem to find the right guy. Even when you date you find that they cheat on you and if you get married, that would be a mistake. I think living together is good. It makes you get to know your partner inside out. When you date you don't get to the see the real side of them. You only see what they want to show you. So living together is a good thing to do. In my [Indian] culture we cannot do that but I will do it if I have to.
~ Jamila

To live with a person could be a great and a bad experience but that's life.  So there should be a balance in thinking if it’s godly.
~ Celina

No matters how much you love someone you should not love them more than God.  If the bible says it’s wrong, its wrong, No question.
~ Ethan

I agree with the lady who said she was married for 5 years. I myself was married for 5 years before my boyfriend and I got married but 6 years later we were divorced. So there is no use of living together before marriage
~ Alexandria

If you put God First we should not live together before marriage.
~ Angelo

We all said that to know someone is to live with them.
~ Linda

I feel that when you are living together before marriage its takes the fun out of being married. That’s why some marriages don’t last long. Also it leads to temptation, which results in unplanned situations.
~ Jocelyn  

I would live with my mate before marriage because there is a saying that goes like this, if you want to know somebody live with them.
~ Dawn

Sometimes even some marriages aren’t guaranteed because couples make their plans to get married, without the consult and involvement of the Lord first and foremost. That's how a lot of people go wrong. Living together before marriage is a great sin in God's eyes. We Bahamians call it shacking up, but whatever we call it, it's wrong.
~ Moesha

I would not. This is like putting the carriage before the horse. Your marriage if you decide would be almost a guarantee for Divorce.
~ June

Would I live with my mate before marriage? NO, simply because one or both partners would become relaxed in the relationship.
~ Stanley

Free Articles:
Should we live Together?

www.family.org/married/topics/a0025078.cfm
Candid Talk about living Together

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This is What I’m Thinking!

Kirk one topic I would like for you to get into is the unreasonable woman. Why does she always have to get things her way? A lot of black Bahamian women are like that.  It's a turn off.
~ Mark (real name)

My Response to Kirk’s Commentary

I think “real love” is one that could not be bought.  Loving someone does not mean buying materialistic stuff.  Love should be priceless.  I do believe in disciplining a child by the rod but not to abuse the child.  Hitting a child in the face is totally not called for and a form of abuse.  I also think when disciplining a child with a rod he or she should be beaten on the bottom or over the shoulder but not to bruise.

After beating that child the parent should always remind the child how much you love them and the reason why he or she is being punished. Another form of disciplinary action could be taken if depriving the child from things he or she enjoys like playing sports, watching TV, going out to play with friends etc.  Again with the reminder of why they are being punished along with telling them how much you love them and want good things for them. 

By doing this the child will not grow to resent the parent/s also he/she would not or should not feel as though they are not loved. 

If a man treasures the woman in his life he definitely would not play the field.  When a man really loves a woman she is his world just after god.  He would respect that woman in every way possible and see no other woman in his eyes as more beautiful, attractive and loving than that woman in his life.  The same goes for a woman who loves a man. Name calling is definitely out of the question.  Yes sometimes we do get upset but should also think about the other person’s feelings and be very careful with the choice of words. 
~ Adlynne (real name)
   Antigua and Barbuda